Apr 30, 2009
Sofa Wars IV: A New Couch
So about 2 months ago, I came down stairs with Trevin on a Saturday morning to bask in the glow of Disney channel characters at his normal wake-up time of 6:00 AM. My extreme tiredness coupled with the size of my frame resulted in me throwing myself onto the couch as soon as the TV was playing Handy Manny. I instantly heard a snap in the couch and began thinking about how I could blame it on Trevin. When Erica woke up I ended up taking the blame (you owe me one, Trevin) and we pretty much left it until a couple nights ago, when we flipped the couch and took a look.
Let me digress for a moment by saying that Handy Manny makes everything look easy. I mean, for him everything is easy and I hate him for it. Seriously, an elevator breaks down, apparently due to one solitary faulty fuse, as if elevators are no more complicated machines than a wheelbarrow. Manny gets stuck in the elevator so how does he get the fuse? His freakin’ tools run to Kelly’s hardware store for him. Does Kelly have an obscure fuse to an elevator? Apparently, yes. Why wouldn’t she? A simple storefront in a small-town has anything this guy could want, but I doubt Home Depot carries elevator parts.
Anyway, so we flip the couch and there are two cross beams that just came loose. No problem. I can wedge them back in there, screw them back to the frame and I don’t even need a talking hammer to get it done (though it would be nice). We tried to wedge them back, but they wouldn’t budge, since much of the wood is bowed. So I decide to get some more stuff together and try the next day. So last night, I get the couch flipped again and I push and tug and get that wood back to where it goes. And then the beam splits.
At this point, I’m not so happy, so I rip both beams out of the couch. Luckily, Erica had saved a 70″ 2×4 that I used to create new beams. I even needed both of them to be 34.5″ so it was a close to perfect as possible. My wife is so smart! Anyway, to make an already long story a bit shorter, the couch is now sturdy and supportive, albeit a little less comfortable than when it was newly purchased. I should have taken some pictures so I could share my experience, but I was too busy cursing Ashley Furniture to think to do that.

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